Peace and Epiphany, You Guys

This is so ingrained my my approach to life
     This is so ingrained my my approach to life

I find my Alabama self in the California desert, yet again, hands up, eyes toward Heaven,  my very eloquent prayer at the moment is pretty much…”Um, Ok, Now What” (said with much reverence).

I love to listen to Joyce Meyers’ sermons.  I happened upon her audio book of “Battlefield of the Mind” years and years ago, listened to it in the car driving about hollering “Hallelujah” left and right!  This was written for me, I’m sure.  I have subsequently purchased the book and refer to parts of it at times.  At this moment, one part of this seems particularly scientient.  She refers to Moses and the Israelites wandering in the desert for 40 years.  The analogy being that although God provided manna from Heaven , they were moaning and complaining about said Manna, they were allowed to basically wallow in the desert until they opened their eyes, took their hands off the wheel (“Let’s just go back to Egypt slash what I know even though it s u c k s (pardon my French) instead of trusting you) and followed God  .I note a pang of recognition here

I find my Deep Southern self, with all that that entails, in Southern California.  In my experience, this is a totally different culture/continent in every way.  The food, eating habits, the fact that you CANNOT get a grocery bag for your groceries even though they still pay the kid to stand at the end of the checkout lane to watch you struggle with your cans (I digress), definitely driving habits.  I am so loving the lack of weather here.  I watch Dallas Raines (best name ever for a weatherman) daily tell us “beautiful, sunny, warm today” with his perfect teeth and perfect hair. I have finally learned to stop speaking to everyone that I meet and I try not to make eye contact.  If I did this back home, I’d be smacked upside the head for being uppity.  I’ve been told that people have a hard time understanding what I am saying and my sense of humor usually does not quite translate here.

I came here for work – I am/was an ICU RN.  Sounds great, right  I have seen places I could never have imagined, met fantastic, interesting, inspiring people.  But..the transient nature of working this way necessitates a certain distance be maintained both personally and professionally.  First, I am the outsider in every way.  The onus is on me to figure out the culture of the area and in the hospital where I work and attempt to fit in – with very interesting results.  We all know that I am only going to be here a short time and very few people take any time to get to know you or even worry about your assimilation.  It’s the nature of the business. Luckily, I’ve been a nurse long enough that I have a set of tools and skills that enable me to drop in and do a good job. Thank God!I  I control what I can in this lifestyle I’ve chosen that lacks standardization. For this reason, I have spent the last three years basically flying over areas, swooping down for a bit to sample the goodies and I leave, never seeing or pretty much hearing from those I met again.  There are some really interesting folks that I have been blessed to call friends, but it’s different than home.

I’ve known for a while that it is time to change, but it felt safer to stay with what I know.-Finally, I’m ready to admit that I am actually powerless (read  no control) over the situations and people in my life.  Hmm. Not an easy thing, but I’ve been told that the sun will still rise, the earth will continue to orbit even if I don’t tell it to.  Imagine that.

The new adventure is to stop spinning like a top, stand still and listen .  I’m trying, really.  I’m praying, looking everywhere for the burning bush.  Most likely, it’s right in front of me. There is still l so much to discover personally, professionally.  Travel is mandatory.   That being said, I’m ready to wade into the next abyss, the waves have parted, God is holding my hand and I think I see green pastures up ahead.   NAMASTA Y’all and  #ROLLL TIDE!

Looking for Craig Ferguson – Found Christmas. Hmm.

On a whim, I decided to try to get a “day of” seat to see the taping of Craig Fergusons’ TV show.  I have always enjoyed his off-kilter humor and he is about to finish this show.  What the hay, right? On my arrival at LA CBS studios, there are already about five faithful who have formed a line to wait at 12:30PM for the 3PM line to choose who actually gets to go in.  I had no ticket and there was one other lady there with no ticket.  Turns out there is one official ticket site, and these don’t necessarily guarantee that you get in.  I had fun gabbing with the folks while waiting.  I met a young lady who had, also on a whim, flown down that day from Canada just to see this show – with no ticket. During this time the line became extremely long and alas, at 3:30 or so, I was unable to get in.  I’d parked in a paid lot about 2 blocks away and figured I would wander around the Farmers’ market and get some goodies while waiting for the disaster that is LA traffic to settle a bit.  Take a look at the wonder I found…

Beloved and I Hiking in Northridge

Today went well.  Thankful.  Thought I would share a few pics taken while Beloved and I went hiking up in Northridge.  Beautiful, peaceful.  I so enjoy being out like this, especially with my partner in crime/buddy/Beloved. I am blessed.

Transcendental Thanksgiving

Transcendental ThanksgivingTranscendentalism, a 19th-century American religious and philosophical movement that advocates that there is an ideal spiritual state that ‘transcends’ the physical and empirical (from wikipedia) 

Lord Help.  Tomorrow = holiday.  Today is cooking, planning, being a little snippy with each other in anticipation of the deep joy we will experience tomorrow when we join together, in a park, with Beloveds’ child, Mother of said child, their mutual, kind, vegetarian friends and their children for our Thanksgiving Feast.  I have to tell you, I am so looking forward to this…well, I wish I was. Really…  It’s a wonderful thing for them all to be together and I need to show support for the family unit and my Beloved.  I know this.  Walk the walk and all.  That being said…  Hollerin

All that I know to be familiar and special, my friends, my family, are very far away.  I have spoken with them and feel a little better.  It’s not that holidays were ever a Hallmark movie.  . Not sure why, buI I’ve always held my expectations for the holidays way too high.  I am an only child, so not lots of brother/sister/cousin interactions.  Life.

I was blessed to work 12 hour night shifts, so I finally decided to schedule myself for just about every holiday, which afforded me the ability to just snooze through the holidays.  Nice.  I just habitually get the blues this time of year. OK, grumpy – what to do?

I am trying to remember the “reason for the season” and keep that foremost in my head to improve my attitude here.  Gratitude.  I have so much to be grateful for, truly.  My children are healthy, employed, upstanding, smart, good people.  My parents are alive and enjoying their life.  My little dogggie – though far far away – is in a great place with a wonderful woman who is caring for him so well, he is king of the roost.  I have a beautiful, wonderful, smart, funny boyfriend.  I am still job-hunting, but I am so grateful actually for the blessing of the last few jobs I have had that so clearly showed me what I do NOT want out of a career.  Frequently I need a kick in the rear to get out of my comfort zone, and they so readily, heartily provided such kick. For that, I am grateful.  I am growing, learning, looking at life in a new way.  I am getting my big old hiney to the gym again, Zumba-ing in semi-public and I do feel better and eventually will look a bit better.  Beloved doesn’t seem to mind too much. For this, I am grateful.  I have met some really interesting, caring, wonderful people and have been challenged to try new experiences.

I know this, but will repeat it for me, I definitely need to remember to Let Go and Let God!  Transition is not always easy, new traditions, people and ways of doing things, and eating,  eeh, but it’s all good.   I am slowly beginning the process of making new connections, looking at the way we are celebrating as a learning and growth opportunity.  I do enjoy learning.  It will be fine.  Gods’ got me, as always.

I wish everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving!  May we both transcend. thanksgiving

Join Me November 26

LAM’s Annual Thanksgiving celebration is a wonderful day here at the Mission. The well-oiled machine of volunteers and celebrities dish up plate upon plate of turkey (3000 pounds), sesame and garlic roasted mashed potatoes (700 pounds), green beans (800 pounds), giblet gravy (80 gallons) and pie (600) while others pour and serve drinks. After serving about 4,000 meals, we were able to give out about 650 bibles, over 1,400 beautiful blankets and over 1,200 tarps in preparation for the colder winter months.”

https://losangelesmission.org/learn/services-and-programs/recovery-services/anne-douglas-center-for-women/

#LA Mission  #Feeding the Hungry #Karma

How About a Bit of Eye Candy for Sunday

Beloved and I out and about L.A.

What Tha …???? This Woman Followed Me to Zumba and Jumped In My Mirror!

I’m so proud of myself.  I woke up early, fixed my hair, put on my face and my workout clothes , headed out the door this morning for Zumba.  I show up 20 minutes early and take my spot , ready to go.   I am accostumed to avoiding looking in the mirror – I do it without thinking.  Here in lovely Cali,  I am, at 5’4″  pretty much a giant among the sea of petite folks.  Strange enough.  I haven’t really exercised much for a bit (okay, a long bit) but I have done this for Years,. I’ve got this.  Ready to channel my inner hip hop dancer.   And then….

wpid-1106141218a-1_wm.jpgW H A T ??  I cannot even see myself moving about gracefully for this big ole’ woman who is coincidentally sporting the same duds as I.  Who does she think she is?  And look at all that jiggle! Bless her heart.  That CANNOT be me. No.  First of all, I am a card carrying Nerdy Nurse who understands, teaches and preaches all things healthy, I adore the physiology.  I ran a marathon for gosh sake! (okay, almost 20 years ago, but it still counts).  I know the risks that I face if I don’t watch my waist – heart disease, diabetes. No, this is DEFINITELY not me!

Oh My Goodness!!
Oh My Goodness!!

But, when I got home, there she was again in the restroom, in my clothes, appropriately mirroring my every move.  Scary stuff.  I think I need to keep a close eye on her for awhile.