Transcendental ThanksgivingTranscendentalism, a 19th-century American religious and philosophical movement that advocates that there is an ideal spiritual state that ‘transcends’ the physical and empirical (from wikipedia)
Lord Help. Tomorrow = holiday. Today is cooking, planning, being a little snippy with each other in anticipation of the deep joy we will experience tomorrow when we join together, in a park, with Beloveds’ child, Mother of said child, their mutual, kind, vegetarian friends and their children for our Thanksgiving Feast. I have to tell you, I am so looking forward to this…well, I wish I was. Really… It’s a wonderful thing for them all to be together and I need to show support for the family unit and my Beloved. I know this. Walk the walk and all. That being said…
All that I know to be familiar and special, my friends, my family, are very far away. I have spoken with them and feel a little better. It’s not that holidays were ever a Hallmark movie. . Not sure why, buI I’ve always held my expectations for the holidays way too high. I am an only child, so not lots of brother/sister/cousin interactions. Life.
I was blessed to work 12 hour night shifts, so I finally decided to schedule myself for just about every holiday, which afforded me the ability to just snooze through the holidays. Nice. I just habitually get the blues this time of year. OK, grumpy – what to do?
I am trying to remember the “reason for the season” and keep that foremost in my head to improve my attitude here. Gratitude. I have so much to be grateful for, truly. My children are healthy, employed, upstanding, smart, good people. My parents are alive and enjoying their life. My little dogggie – though far far away – is in a great place with a wonderful woman who is caring for him so well, he is king of the roost. I have a beautiful, wonderful, smart, funny boyfriend. I am still job-hunting, but I am so grateful actually for the blessing of the last few jobs I have had that so clearly showed me what I do NOT want out of a career. Frequently I need a kick in the rear to get out of my comfort zone, and they so readily, heartily provided such kick. For that, I am grateful. I am growing, learning, looking at life in a new way. I am getting my big old hiney to the gym again, Zumba-ing in semi-public and I do feel better and eventually will look a bit better. Beloved doesn’t seem to mind too much. For this, I am grateful. I have met some really interesting, caring, wonderful people and have been challenged to try new experiences.
I know this, but will repeat it for me, I definitely need to remember to Let Go and Let God! Transition is not always easy, new traditions, people and ways of doing things, and eating, eeh, but it’s all good. I am slowly beginning the process of making new connections, looking at the way we are celebrating as a learning and growth opportunity. I do enjoy learning. It will be fine. Gods’ got me, as always.